On their fifth date Jen made a slightly snarky comment about how Todd held his fork.He responded with a parody of etiquette that to Jen felt like a put down.There were some cold moments, a sudden distance as both began to wonder if maybe the other wasn’t as committed to those moral virtues as each had claimed.
My pieces rarely offer that kind of simple pleasure.
I've had both of those issues turn up in relationship. Yes, bigger issues have come up in relationships too.
The conflict in the anecdote is trivial and is not a useful illustration of the post honeymoon period. Maybe I didn't convey the purpose but there's a lot there for me.
I would suggest refocusing this piece, it not only lacks purpose but it is frustrating to read such a pointless story. Not that kind of recipe style "Always do X" purpose that is more appealing to some readers.
Trouble is, in this post-honeymoon transition period you can’t tell how close to that ideal you’re going to get since you’re assessing in the midst of the transition, trying to guess what you can achieve while your ramping up to achieve it.
If you don’t get close to the ideal, negotiation is going to be a whole lot harder, perhaps not worth it, which leaves you one or even two feet out the door.
That night in bed he made a slightly snarky comment about her occasional drops into baby talk, and she got defensive in ways he found alarming.
Their response to each other’s feedback was disappointing.
And anyway, some of us don’t mind moving on quickly, harvesting the honeymoon’s sweetness and throwing away the rest.
But if your real goal is to establish a satisfying long-term relationship it’s worth inventorying what is likely to go on in the post-honeymoon hump, and what it takes to get over it.
At dinner on their seventh date, Jen joked again about the fork thing and Todd said that he couldn’t tell from her comment whether she was asking him to change. Still, I would prefer that you hold it the way my mom always said we should.” Asked that practical question, Todd didn’t mind considering changing for her.