A brief but specific example: I paraphrase Thomas Stanley (author of ) to describes how the wealthy purchase their dream house. When you see a repossession or a divorce settlement or some outstanding offer, let us know.First they find the best real estate agent in town and describe their dream home. We are ready to move in an instant, but are in no rush. We like our current house.” [not Stanley’s words] The result is that they may acquire their million dollar home for 0,000. They will not make a foolish purchase due to aroused emotions We could multiply similar stories for just about any area of human endeavor: The professional musician, lawyer, politician, artist, or entertainer.Those values (and standards) will continue to hold toward others even after she is married.
A first date, no matter how wonderful, is not sufficient data (OK, she’s a statistician) to allow extensive physical contact to bias her thinking.
She applies to her dating relationships the attitude that wealthy people do to making large purchases, such as a house.
Gothard preached conservative Christian values, but even if one did not agree with those values, he expressed a useful definition of the word “defrauding”.
Defrauding, he said is: “Arousal of sensual desire that cannot be righteously fulfilled.” Even to someone not adhering to Gothard’s value system, there is solid common sense in his words.
Amanda is an affectionate person by nature, enjoys physical contact, enjoys giving physical touch but wants to be clear on what is expressed by it—that is pleasure that someone is her friend, affection when appropriate, and comfort when a person is suffering.
Her reasoning is, “what benefit is it to me or anyone else that my touch should express sexual interest.” She recalled a comment by her mother who had, back in the 1970s attended a Bill Gothard seminar (on successful living for youth).There will be no ongoing physical contact during the date such as holding hands or snuggling.Once again, Amanda has thought through which values she wishes to adhere to and the reasons behind them.Lets discuss the values that this particular person has set up.We have already established that which boundaries are set is not as important as the fact that boundaries are set and adhered to.First, the level-1 values for physical touch continue (affectionate embrace or touch) and extend a little by allowing a kiss, but stops short of anything more.