It is important not to make assumptions based on someone’s marital status, instead judge each situation on its merits.
.” Getting involved with a separated man usually comes with a host of issues and complications that spell drama, stress and heartache to a woman.
It takes time to heal and the more recent the divorce was the more likely it is that they are still working through there feelings.
Be especially wary of someone who is only just going through divorce proceedings and still living in the marital home – the chances are you may be used as a stepping stone to freedom. Trust – although it is unfair to be judged because of someone else’s bad behaviour, when a person has been badly hurt they are going to be wary of trusting again.
It is possible to share a full and happy life with someone without a marriage certificate but if it is high on your list of priorities it is best to check whether this is ever a possibility. Emotional baggage – a bad divorce can leave people bitter, angry, resentful and with a skewed view of relationships.
While their feelings may be entirely justified it may be impossible to break down the barriers and form a new relationship until they have worked through the issues.
Having children will usually also necessitate contact with the other parent to some degree and this can be difficult when a new relationship is developing.
Every situation will be unique and as with the development of any new relationship, you need to be honest with yourself and your match as to whether the relationship is something you want.The bottom line is that going through a divorce requires a lot of him – he must grieve, heal, hash through legalities, potentially adjust to single parenting and financial limitations, as well as rediscover a new sense of who he is today.It is a process that requires time, self-awareness and hard work.Throwing himself into dating or another relationship may temporarily make him feel better – but it only postpones the inevitable inner work that needs to be done. It symbolizes the completion of an old life – a finished chapter – as well as the freedom and independence to create a new future (ahem, a new relationship, possibly with you! Ask him this: If, in fact, the divorce decree isn’t a big deal (like he says), then why doesn’t he just get it done? Then ask him if he thinks it’s fair and reasonable to expect you to continue dating Hmmm… You know it’s possibly because he’s still emotionally “holding onto her”, too, right? If you pay attention, you’ll see flashes of it — in his eyes, his periods of silence or in his body language.The real reason his divorce hasn’t been finalized could be because of unfinished legal business. Often, his anger will be directed towards his wife – not necessarily through long rants but through small jabs, backhanded remarks and seething sarcasm disguised as humour.This can often result in them being much more open minded and adaptable themselves with a deeper understanding that every person’s situation is unique and not necessarily a reflection of their values or beliefs – a divorcee may still believe in the sanctity of marriage but their ex didn’t. Communication – good communication skills are at the heart of any lasting healthy relationship.