Harvard, MIT, Yale, BU, Middlebury, Tufts, Dartmouth. Let us drive and watch us recklessly cut people off on Route 2 while swearing at other drivers in between making ill-advised sports talk radio calls.
There's a special brand of precious difficulty when it comes to forging a romantic relationship with us that can be as alternately tumultuous and pleasant as springtime in Hartford. You think that Brooks Brothers outpost at Bradley International got there by accident?
No matter how fast you think your legs can take you up a hill, ours are double the speed and twice the size. We’re as cold as the ice you have to scrape off your windshield every morning and we’re never going to change.
And I don't care how many times someone says that Scottish men are just shy because I'm shy too.
No one actively seeks rejection and heartbreak but, alas, it's a side effect of dating.
Some guys are creepy because they smell like bad sex.
And other creepy guys are creepy for a lot of other creepy reasons.
For example, this past Saturday my English friend and I went to a club in the West end.
Although we dressed up, a lot of the other girls were completely styled to the nines with the latest fashions from Top Shop.
You think we're going to take our time roaming those windy, frustratingly irregular Boston streets, or hiking up the somehow windier White Mountains? If you aren't moving at what feels like a brisk jog, you're moving too slowly. If you want to talk about emotional crap and all that stuff, you’re going to have to do some deep digging. There wasn't much time for emotional intimacy when our Puritan ancestors were busy trying not to starve to death in the winter, hanging witches, and slut-shaming the Hester Prynnes of the colonial world.
Our parents handed that emotional withdrawal down to us, and we'll one day pass that icy torch.
[Read: 20 things that turn a guy on sexually about a girl] What makes a guy creepy?