I have a friend who, after having been on a couple dates with a French guy, stumbled across something marked on his calendar a month to the day after they had shared their first kiss saying it was their would-be ‘1 month anniversary’ on that day.Since she’d only known him for two weeks, she was naturally quite alarmed at how far they’d already progressed as a couple in his mind.’ Well, of course, in an ideal world I want to answer that question by saying, ‘Let’s do champagne at Le Meurice followed by the Opéra, topped off with a horse and carriage ride that would leave me right at the foot of my door.’ Once my head stops spinning and I’m brought back to the present moment, however, I have once made the regrettable decision of simply answering, ‘Oh, I don’t mind. ’ My date then suggested going for a drink at a bar in Le Marais.
But what happens if you find yourself in a stalemate situation where neither of you is making the move to take your relationship to the next stage?
You could tell him that he’s great or that he’s nice by saying, ‘Tu es génial’ or ‘Tu es très sympa’, while brushing the hair away from his face… In a totally different situation, if he starts referring to you as his girlfriend after the second date, that’s pretty normal.
By all means, get in there and book him in for another date.
It is natural (in France), for a woman to be completely honest and tell the man she wants to see him again.
It will be more satisfying for you when he dreams up a fabulous idea for a date because he knows you would just love it.
What happened to waiting for the man to contact you after a first date?
Oh how different things might have been if I’d known then what I know now… You flirt, perhaps touch each other a little, (or, in my case, he brushed my leg with his foot under the table once, I blush thinking he’s outrageously flirting with me only for him then to apologise for accidentally kicking me.) Anyway, the chemistry is going wild yet he hasn’t made the move and kissed you.
I certainly learnt the hard way what you must never say to a French man if you wish to declare your feelings (en francais, parce que c’est plus romantique comme ça…) So, you’re dating. I was once in this position with a man I had feelings for, I was cautiously optimistic that he felt the same way but neither of us was brave enough to admit our feelings.
After many dates turning sour or crushes who disappear seamlessly into thin air, I’ve been educated on what to expect when you’re dating native French men. I’d spent my whole life believing it was the man’s decision to say where we should go, what we should do.
I’ve been left speechless when I’ve been asked before several of my dates, ‘So, what would you like to do?
After summoning my friends to a crisis coffee meeting, where I had to tell them about what had just happened to me, my friends explained I had, in fact, told him that I liked him a lot – but as a friend.