How many people have decided not to talk to the cute girl in the room because they’ve convinced themselves that girls like her would never consider talking to guys like them?How many people avoid going to parties and social gatherings because they believe that everyone at the party is going to harshly judge them and/or not like them? The people who are intimidating you are not better than you. They poop and fart just like the rest of us (and it stinks too.) In fact, they’re probably just like you in more ways than you could ever imagine.Additionally, you've got to hide from predators, steer clear of Alpha males and females looking for trouble, and not let other hunter-gatherer bands kill you: these are significant sticks.
Most importantly, the story that you’re telling yourself in your mind about how scary they are, isn’t real.
Even though your insecurities are trying to convince you otherwise.
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In life, there will always be scary situations to overcome, comfort zones that need to expand in order for us to grow, and self-love that needs to be constantly reinforced in order for us to fully experience the best that life has to offer.
None of the above can happen as long as we continue to listen to the wimpy voice that’s inside of all of us, saying that Hi, my name is Shola and I'm the founder of The Positivity Solution.That’s why I talk about the dangers of living a fear-controlled life so often on this blog (like here, here and here for starters.)While that’s true, there’s one form of fear that I haven’t really addressed up until this point, and it actually might be the most common form of fear that exists. Or more specifically, Before I dive in, a quick disclaimer–I’m not a psychiatrist (obviously), so if you have a legitimate full-blown phobia of other people, then this blog post definitely isn’t for you.But for everyone else who sometimes feels scared or intimidated by other people for whatever reason, take a minute to fully absorb this quote: I’m a 42-year old man, and I’m not embarrassed to share that it took me close to 35 years of my life to get this lesson burned into my consciousness.Here are some cuts from the soul-destroying album that played on repeat in my brain every time I walked into a room: These beliefs ruled most of my adult life, and the results of these beliefs were devastating.Because I lived in fear of other people and their opinions of me, it almost destroyed my career, my social life, and anything else meaningful in my life.On a previous blog at the Huffington Post, I used the example of Stephen Colbert's satirical "March to Keep Fear Alive" as a timely illustration of a larger point: humans evolved to be fearful - since that helped keep our ancestors alive - so we are very vulnerable to being frightened and even intimidated by threats, both real ones and "paper tigers." With his march, Colbert was obviously mocking those who play on fear, since we certainly don't need any new reminders to keep fear alive.