I have many reasons for engaging in this kind of relationship (a very long story) but believe me, it's not my long term choice.I want an exclusive and totally loving relationship with a man who adores me and I him.
When and how to reveal the "herpes secret" is a top of mind question for anyone who has contracted the virus.
I wish I had the space to cover this topic on this blog post (but I'm already way over).
None seem to be anywhere as severe as you've described and for that reason, Todd suggested that you may want to consider seeing a specialist: an immunologist.
To address your question about not wanting to pass this painful virus onto someone else, I completely understand.
I am still alive and although I'm in physical pain from my symptoms, I know they will eventually subside.
When they do, the pain of what's happened won't be so apparent and I can move on with my life.
And Mary, in the case of contracting the virus for herpes, I can only imagine that your Gremlin is yelling at the top of her lungs.
Let's take a look at some more helpful perspectives to the unhelpful judgments of The Gremlin: GREMLIN: You are so careless! YOU: Although it's unfortunate and not something I would ever wish on anyone, it's not the worst thing that could happen.
And the not-so-"funny" thing is, it's more common to be thought of as "dirty" or "damaged goods" if you have HSV2, yet no one seems to mind if it's "just a cold sore." HSV1 and HSV2 are essentially the same virus -- it's just a matter of where they present on the body.
So, to the aware individual who has done her homework on the Herpes virus, you are no more "dirty" or "damaged goods" if you have HSV2 instead of HSV1. Mary, I feel that your question about herpes is so critically important because your major concern has to do with the ongoing painful physical symptoms that you've endured and how you could never risk passing this on to someone you love.
This is where I feel a little concerned, and not from a coaching or therapy perspective (that has to do with helping you find a more supportive outlook), but from a physical health standpoint.