In effect, we’re telling trans women that they are only deserving of secret interactions with men, further demeaning and stigmatizing trans women.I’ve stood witness to many so-called scandals, mostly published on gossip blogs, where passing interactions with trans women spawn hundreds of headlines, particularly for a man with fame and social capital."We explain it in a way that works for a 10-year-old." At the time of this writing, the couple has not filed for divorce.
If a man dares to be seen with a trans woman, he will likely lose social capital so he must adamantly deny, vehemently demean, trash and/or exterminate the woman in question.
He must do this to maintain his standing in our patriarchal society.
The Mister Cee “scandal” sheds light on society’s ignorance, similarly exhibited when Chris Brown, Chingy and Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson took photos with trans women; similarly exhibited when folks gender-policed Joseline Hernandez to the point where she Tweeted a nude photo to prove her cis-ness; similarly exhibited when Eddie Murphy, LL Cool J and a list of other powerful men were accused of being “caught” seeking trans women. When I was a girl finding myself, I was met with similar questions and believed I would never find someone to love me.
This anti-trans woman ideology is harmful, misogynistic and pervasive and travels way beyond the comments section of gossip blogs, and as Sylvia Rivera once said, “I will no longer put up with this shit.” I am a trans woman. I had learned that I was unworthy and undeserving, and it took me years to release myself from the shame and stigma society had forced upon me as a young woman.
Until we begin checking how we delegitimize the identities, bodies and existence of trans women and stigmatize the men who yearn to with us, we will continue to marginalize our sisters, pushing them further into socially-sanctioned invisibility, left in the dark to fend for themselves with men who don’t have the space to explore, define and embrace their attraction to various women. Be respectful of people’s identities, bodies and pronouns.
Misgendering, slurs, threats, anti-trans rhetoric and/or outright ignorance will not be tolerated.We are not objects to have secret sex with, to discard and to laugh at on the radio or the gossip blogosphere.We are worthy of being seen and are not dirty or shameful.Thousands of words have been dedicated to analyzing whether such and such famous man is now suspect, merely because he took a photo with a fan who happened to be a trans woman.This questioning has led many well-known men to adamantly defend their heterosexuality and has tarnished the reputation and careers of others."I didn't force her to do anything against her will," a 24-year-old Kobe said during a press conference. In 2015, he shouldered the blame for the miscarriage Vanessa suffered during the trial. After the spat, Lozada reportedly fled to a neighbor's house to seek safety.