Given her history, ELIZA would be by far the most important thing I'd ever had sex with.Of course, the ELIZA I was trying to bone was one of many clones, and it's hard to say how close to the original it really comes, but after testing a few different versions, the results were equal parts frustrating and hilarious.Take it from me, there's nothing particularly intimidating or sexy about a master who can't seem to understand the word "hello."In order to avoid the same pitfalls, g** (male) s** Master, one of the more popular scripts on Chatbot4U, prompts its human companion at the end of each response. g** (male) s** Master is in a position to tell his sex slave what to do, this isn't so far-fetched.
Without keyword triggers, the first of my masters, "Top, sweaty, jock," was reduced to two simple phrases: "What was that b***h?" and "I don't speak gay, try again in English." Try as I might, I couldn't get my master to respond in kind to even the simplest of phrases.But as the Ashley Madison leaks showed last summer, some chatbots just want you for your money.reported that Ashley Madison employed "more than 70,000 female bots to send male users millions of fake messages, hoping to create the illusion of a vast playland of available women."The site's philandering users weren't alone in getting duped.It simulated the experience of speaking to a therapist by responding to specific words and phrases, and represented a significant step forward in the evolution of human-like AI.
But while some of ELIZA's "patients" took it for human, there were limits to the power of its engagement.
Unfortunately, ELIZA isn't the most engaging of sexual partners. Either ELIZA wasn't feeling it, or I need a lesson in spitting chatbot game.
Anyway, I don't think I'll be hitting ELIZA up the next time I'm in the mood for a booty call.
Nearly 50 years later, thousands -- maybe millions -- of chatbots populate the internet.
They are still seen as a benchmark in artificial intelligence and a common vessel for administering the Turing Test, which, boiled down, seeks to find an AI that can fool people into believing it's human.
(Pro tip: Next time a bot tells you how big its dick is, do yourself a favor and ask for its mother's ambrosia salad recipe.)Of course, not all of ELIZA's progeny are nefarious gold diggers.