It not only implies that women have no agency, but that relationships aren’t about chemistry and mutual attraction, but about earning enough points until someone is to.No matter how much we plan or prepare, life frequently finds a way to kick our legs out from under us and drop us on our asses. New relationships especially require careful nurturing; it’s all-too-easy for a new or burgeoning relationship to fall apart because of unintentional neglect. It might be that your job has piled on the hours until you’re working 12 to 15 hour days without a break.At best, the idea that you “earn” a relationship means that you see women as gold-diggers or prostitutes.
Regardless of the reasons, we live in a culture that believes that we’re to be single for a while.
Part of being successful in dating means knowing yourself.
It’s a very understandable motivation, when you get right down to it. You’ve been reinforcing your archetype, building your new style and you’re starting to have some successes.
When you’ve been branded a loser or The One Who Was Not Good With Girls as I was, there are times when you feel like you’re the Last American Virgin. In fact, you may be having more success than you ever believed possible.
You may still be working on being able to enforce your boundaries.
You may be trying to unlearn the lessons from an emotionally abusive relationship.
You might have health issues that limit your ability to function.
You may be dealing with financial hardship that means you’re constantly working your ass off, running as fast as you can just to stay in one place.
Much like the guys with something to prove, this isn’t about connecting with a person, so much as finding some combination that’s equal parts blow-jobs and life-coach.
The thing is: your partners aren’t there to fix you or fill a hole in your life.
Or you’ve been put on the graveyard shift and when most people are out socializing (or asleep), you’re stuck at work.