Is this really just an excuse to try that new sushi place? "Setting an intention grounds you, and it gives you something to fall back on if you start feeling anxious in the moment. What really matters here isn't even the intention or the breathing, it's that you remembered to do it.
If you meet someone you really like who's outdoorsy, sure, you could pretend that you're really into spending time in the wilderness—even if the closest you've ever gotten to nature is drinking cocktails on the beach. Instead of trying to bullsh*t your way through talking about something you know nothing about, you've just created an opportunity to really get to know this person better and connect with them. And who knows, maybe you never knew just how fascinating 18th century Welsh cheesemaking really is."Look, maybe she chews with her mouth open or he's an incessant foot-tapper who openly admits to listening to Nickelback on repeat.
And the truth is, this isn't always the worst tactic: If you're open to trying what they're into, you may open yourself up to experiences you'll enjoy. If you're getting instant there's-no-chemistry-here vibes (or worse, red flags), then don't go on a second date—or cut your first one short.
You may have some skeletons in the closet or a personality disorder, but your first encounter isn't the appropriate time to talk about your dope-addicted brother or your buckets full of daddy issues.
Too much information can be perceived as high maintenance and off-putting—if you're going to work out, there will be time to create trust and open up on a deeper level without fear of being judged or brushed off, but your first happy hour convo ain't the time or place to get deep.
When you write things down, you trigger cells in the brain called the reticular activating system (RAS), which experts say help to filter important information."Something that I've recommended my friends do before dates (and I've been on a lot—over 300, to be precise) is a tactic I've used before: I look in the mirror and say five things out loud that I like about myself.
Focusing on my positive attributes rather than worrying about my insecurities or perceived imperfections makes me feel instantly better.
We all fudge things a little bit on the first date or out at the bar. As my roommate says, "Make fun of yourself before someone else can." A little joke can help break the ice and make you not look like a total douche.
(I've definitely tried to put on fake eyelashes pre-date, only to glue them to my cheek instead). But be careful not to try out your amateur stand-up act on a date, Dr.
Think about it: Has pretending to care less than you really do ever gotten you more? The least cool thing you can do is to try and 'play it cool.' It's OK for the person you've just gone on a date with to know you like them—being upfront about that is its own kind of sexy confidence.
Besides, the sooner they know you like them, the sooner you'll have an answer to that eternal question of dating, 'Should I stay or should I go? Real vulnerability takes courage, and courage is pretty damn sexy."If you just had an amazing time with someone and don't want it to end, tell the person how much you enjoyed the date and offer up a nightcap or second date.
You shouldn't completely change yourself to be attractive for the other person, but if you notice that they tend to always wear black jeans and you happen to own a pair, there's nothing wrong with opting for a pair of your black jeans instead of blue.