That way, I can more easily go through the entire collection of my documented life over the past 24 years. "), but I would not like to live in a cardboard box, thanks. you think world peace is actually a goal of some sort But world domination is — MWAHAHA. you tell the same joke in the same circumstance time and time again Hey! you shoplift I have a compulsive tendency to hoard to-go napkins and sugar packets from restaurants by the handful ... you write missed connections for people with whom you've never spoken Or otherwise resorted to the internet to find a romantic partner?
You will see snapshot details of each person, such as their username, age, and location, as well as a profile picture.If a user is logged in, a green Online icon appears at the bottom of their profile picture.you think your binge drinking is simply a symptom of youth Aww, sounds like someone never got into the frat parties in college. you discuss pinterest/facebook/etc in the visceral world Sorry, but I LIVE for finding little gems from the internet ... But in your mind, this is the same thing, isn't it? you subject yourself to television/film/media that purports a different body image than you believe to be average, thereby angering yourself52. you think individual cultures enrich the global community, rather than maintaining its racial separations59. Only 61 items in but we've officially found something in common! you talk over people Based on this list of yours, I have the distinct suspicion you do a lot of talking yourself, Mr. you desire luxury over practicality I guess I'm guilty of this one, but who isn't? you are transgender and expect that everyone has researched your lifestyle/biological determination and is therefore not taken aback by your appearance B-but you just said people shouldn't belittle transgender people! you suffer from one or multiple mental illnesses and refuse treatment Sounds like someone is suffering desperately from douchebagitis and needs an intervention STAT.70. you think those those who don't vote have no right to complain... you stand in entrances and exits to check for something in your bag/on your phone It would help if you could print me out a blueprint of every venue where we'll be dating so I can memorize spots of acceptable immobility.79. I will tell everyone and anyone who hasn't seen that they need to stop what they're doing and go home and bingewatch it on Netflix. Some washed up C-lister isn't going to catch my eye, but if Robert Downey Jr. bacon is important to you What level of importance are we talking about here?you blindly give to any charity without knowing how the money is distributed So you're against world peace, cute animals, and now charity? you spend more than you make Okay, I will go on the record as saying that I agree with you on this one. your main profile is you in your bikini So no beach pictures, wedding pictures or pictures in front of historical landmarks. you believe that a dating site is a last resort Well, you're not exactly giving them a fair representation right now.56. you have enough tattoos, or, such poorly placed tattoos (chest piece, etc) that your body will essentially never be nude again I didn't realize that having tattoos prevented you from wearing clothes.60. I'd rather have the Louboutins over the Target sandals. you believe everyone is entitled to their opinion, no matter how inane Nope. you take and display photos of yourself with lighting and angles that intend to deceive the viewer But the Valencia filter on Instagram makes me look like a shiny, poreless unicorn! you own a name brand purse or handbag (burberry, louis vutton, etc), or its equivalent knock off IT'S SPELLED "LOUIS VUITTON" GENIUS — with an "i". you lecture others ad nauseum about how you contribute to society... attending a valid protest is a social event for you, rather than a civic duty What? because you're one of those who people who reserve the right to complain, right? you have a black/gay/etc friend who doesn't mind your bigoted slurs, and therefore, believe you can verbally distribute these utterances anywhere with impunity This isn't 1963. you tell more than 1 person a day that they "have to watch" a television series that you enjoy NOPE. walks into the room, you can bet I'm going to "fangirl freak out" all over that man.91. Like "occassional brunch" level of importance or like, "Pinterest board exclusively for bacon cupcake recipes" level of importance? you can't find even one candid photo of yourself that is honest or complimentary, so all of your pictures are of you holding a cellphone up to a mirror Why don't you just come over to my place and take my dating profile picture for me?According to this guy, I'm clearly doomed to die alone.
So there's this guy on Ok Cupid who CLEARLY has standards.
you like drawn mustache fingers I am a confessed pogonophile — does that come too close? 4/5 of your photos are you at a wedding Hey now, given that I dressed up to look smart and sophisticated for this nuptial event, I think I should be entitled to snag a selfie or two, no? you have tattoos you can't see without a mirror I've yet to be tatted up, so I think we're in the clear for now.6.
you have tattoos that can't be covered (neck, face, hands, etc)Wait so do you LIKE tattoos or HATE tattoos? you have piercings that will leave gaping holes in your body forever Whoops.8.
Your match preferences generate a search algorithm that sorts the best possible matches from Ok Cupid's database of users.
You have several categories you can modify, and each of these has more specific preferences beneath them.
you smell like the food you eat I can only hope I smell like sugar-coated baked goods.57. you have formed a political persona for yourself based solely on "facts" your friends and/or family have told you, without investigating for yourself So I take it you're not a fan of "THANKS, OBAMA" jokes? I don't believe your entitled to your inane opinions.65. you travel to third world countries for vacations But what about "practicality" over "luxury"? Don't you want me to look like a shiny, poreless unicorn in our couple selfies, sweetheart? you confuse personal style with personality But my personal style is supposed to reflect my personality, right? You would know this if you weren't so familiar with Canal Street.73. or about how others aren't contributing to the environment? I'm pretty familiar with non-PC language by now (along with the rest of decent society).80. you engage in overly painful "beautification" regiments No, I'm not into the whole vampire facial thing.82. you're a holocaust denier There are still people like that out there? That way, we can avoid all of the photograph snafus.97.